Background Notes
[The following excerpt is from "The Yahoo.com Directory of Pop No-Hopers"]
After being kicked out of the paramilitary wing of the Jesuits, Captain Howdy spent five years writing mood music for British porno movies (NB: the distinctive feature of British Porno movies is that they feature no sex whatsoever - see, for example, the classic "No Sex Please, We're British Porno Film Makers").
An accident involving two bottles of absinthe left Howdy numb down his right side and manager of UK pop funsters, The Simpletons. His reign of terror saw the band attract absolutely no offers from record labels, major or small. They didn't even play any gigs, for Christ's sake.
Bouyed by this triumph, and depressed by the appalling adequacy of so much guitar-based indie music, the Captain decided it was time to leave the shadows and take centre stage. Though armed only with a laptop and a laughably amateurish sequencing software package, the Captain has something far more important: a list of arbitrary rules:
1. No songs about ex-girlfriends.
2. For God's sake don't bare your soul because it looks just like your big, fat, hairy arse.
3. No instrumentals.
4. No songs about taking drugs.
5. "Experimental" does NOT mean "unlistenable" - though they are close cousins.
6. No gigs.
7. Capture the zeitgeist, pin it down and pummel it until it stops moving.
Captain Howdy reserves the right to break some or all of the above rules at any time.
After being kicked out of the paramilitary wing of the Jesuits, Captain Howdy spent five years writing mood music for British porno movies (NB: the distinctive feature of British Porno movies is that they feature no sex whatsoever - see, for example, the classic "No Sex Please, We're British Porno Film Makers").
An accident involving two bottles of absinthe left Howdy numb down his right side and manager of UK pop funsters, The Simpletons. His reign of terror saw the band attract absolutely no offers from record labels, major or small. They didn't even play any gigs, for Christ's sake.
Bouyed by this triumph, and depressed by the appalling adequacy of so much guitar-based indie music, the Captain decided it was time to leave the shadows and take centre stage. Though armed only with a laptop and a laughably amateurish sequencing software package, the Captain has something far more important: a list of arbitrary rules:
1. No songs about ex-girlfriends.
2. For God's sake don't bare your soul because it looks just like your big, fat, hairy arse.
3. No instrumentals.
4. No songs about taking drugs.
5. "Experimental" does NOT mean "unlistenable" - though they are close cousins.
6. No gigs.
7. Capture the zeitgeist, pin it down and pummel it until it stops moving.
Captain Howdy reserves the right to break some or all of the above rules at any time.
posted by Captain Howdy at 4:16 PM
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